My name is Tim Hutchings and I made this stuff...

...sometimes with help and sometimes single-handedly but never alone. None of the things I make would exist without the amazing society we live in, the cultural institutions we build to preserve it, and the people who appreciate it.

So I make a request:

If you are a supporter of the right I am going to ask that you not buy my games. I don't want your money, but more importantly I don't want you to feel comfortable enjoying things produced by the people and systems you want to destroy. Yes, I mean members of cartoonishly evil hate groups, this includes Trump supporters too. You think the election was fixed and pandemic measures are bad? Stop listening to conservative radio. If you stand by quietly as Republicans take the power of the vote from African Americans and compete to hurt trans people as badly as possible then you are a bad person. You are lobbying for the death of my friends and relations, you are pushing for dangerous authoritarians to destroy the systems that let books like mine come to be. And this goes for equivalent groups outside the US–you know who you are.

People who make art and beauty and fun universally revile you and it's time you started to feel that. I'm lucky enough that I don't need your money. You aren't welcome here, you don't get to play with my things. Shoo.

And you know I'm right. It's why you're mad right now. Those people, the ones that lie to you to get you outraged, they aren't your friends. Hell, they'd be making fun of you for trying to buy a vampire game because they are bullies who hate you.

In summation:

There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise: Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives.

  • cover of Thousand Year Old Campfire, or Old Morris Cave: A Continuous Use Campsite in Mammoth Cave National Park, an Excavation
    from $5.00
    from $5.00
    Sold out
  • Image of the book cove of
    from $7.50
    from $7.50
    Sold out
  • cover view of Thousand Year Old Vampire
    $47.50
    $47.50
    Sold out
  • box view of A Sargasso Sea of Space
    $22.00
    $22.00
    Sold out
  • FYOV box contents
    from $80.00
    from $80.00
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  • cover of Tales from the Gods by Axo Stories
    $25.00
    $25.00
    Sold out
  • cover spread of Un Vampiro de Mil Años
    $47.50
    $47.50
    Sold out
  • cover view of An Account of the Lengthy Existence and Numerous Experiences of Ambrose Blackhouse, Vampire, With Special Attention to Those Years in Which He Walked Upon This Earth Tho Dead, an Illustrated Novel by Tim Denee
    $15.00
    $15.00
    Sold out
  • cover of the Homage to the Player's Handbook
    from $11.00
    from $11.00
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  • logo view reading Thousand Year Old Vampire.
    $15.00
    $15.00
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  • image of a question mark
    $45.00
    $45.00
    Sold out
  • view of obsidian dice
    $50.00
    $50.00
    Sold out
  • view of bloody, clotted looking dice
    $25.00
    $25.00
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  • cover image of Apollo 47 PDF
    $10.00
    $10.00
    Sold out
  • Logo image of A Guide to Soap Carving
    $13.50
    $13.50
    Sold out
  • cover of Operator's Manual for the Handheld Bronson Articulated De-Flensing Unit: A Game
    $9.00
    $9.00
    Sold out
  • a view of a pin made up of many letters
    $10.00
    $10.00
    Sold out
  • photograph of tyov pin
    $10.00
    $10.00
    Sold out
  • image of an enamel pin
    $10.00
    $10.00
    Sold out
  • sample page spread from A Fantastic Desire for Adventure
    $15.00
    $15.00
    Sold out
  • cover view of Telling My Phone About Games I'll Never Make And It Just Can't Understand
    $11.00
    $11.00
    Sold out
  • page view from Cold War Navy
    $30.00
    $30.00
    Sold out
  • interior view of Our Vacation
    $30.00
    $30.00
    Sold out
  • cover of Everything is Dolphins
    $30.00
    $30.00
    Sold out
  • cover view of The Habitition of The Stone Giant Lord
    $20.00
    $20.00
    Sold out

Shipping and VAT and wholesale orders and things

IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE THE US YOU MUST INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IN THE SHIPPING INFORMATION FOR THE ORDER! USE YOUR EMAIL FOR THE 'CONTACT' PART OF THE ORDERING PROCESS.

You overseas folks understand how this works better than I do, but know that I'm not collecting VAT. You'll need to be responsible for that on your end.

Shipping is guaranteed in the US but I can't guarantee receipt in every country. That said, I'm not a monster–if something goes wrong I'll try to fix it. BUT: China, Russia, Mexico, Eastern Europe generally–you are ordering entirely at your own risk.

Packages go out twice a week. There can be both warehouse and mail delays due to covid and weather. If you pay for express shipping you'll probably get your package sooner than not, but I can't be held to the arrival window--that's between you and the USPS. The standard Priority Mail should arrive in 3-4 days in the US. International packages should arrive in "1-4+ weeks" and might be sent USPS First Class or through Pirate Ship's Export system.

If your tracking number starts with AHOY then you track it using this site: https://a1.asendiausa.com/tracking/.

If your shipping charge is outrageous there might be an error in the system. Email me at dearleadergame@gmail.com and let me know. Know, though, that you are probably spending 27USD to ship a single TYOV book to the EU.

Wholesale orders can be placed by emailing dearleadergame@gmail.com or through https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Thousand-Year-Old-Vampire-Print-PDF.html.

If you need assistance with the site, have difficulty ordering, shipping seems wrong, or whatever else let me know at the address below!

This shop and these games are property of Petit Guignol LLC. Contact me at dearleadergame@gmail.com