My name is Tim Hutchings and I made this stuff...

...sometimes with help and sometimes single-handedly but never alone. None of the things I make would exist without the amazing society we live in, the cultural institutions we build to preserve it, and the people who appreciate it.

So I make a request:

If you are a supporter of the right I am going to ask that you not buy my games. I don't want your money, but more importantly I don't want you to feel comfortable enjoying things produced by the people and systems you want to destroy. Yes, I mean members of cartoonishly evil hate groups, this includes Trump supporters too. You think the election was fixed and pandemic measures are bad? Stop listening to conservative radio. If you stand by quietly as Republicans take the power of the vote from African Americans and compete to hurt trans people as badly as possible then you are a bad person. You are lobbying for the death of my friends and relations, you are pushing for dangerous authoritarians to destroy the systems that let books like mine come to be. And this goes for equivalent groups outside the US–you know who you are.

People who make art and beauty and fun universally revile you and it's time you started to feel that. I'm lucky enough that I don't need your money. You aren't welcome here, you don't get to play with my things. Shoo.

And you know I'm right. It's why you're mad right now. Those people, the ones that lie to you to get you outraged, they aren't your friends. Hell, they'd be making fun of you for trying to buy a vampire game because they are bullies who hate you.

In summation:

There has been too much violence. Too much pain. But I have an honorable compromise: Just walk away. Give me your pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I'll spare your lives.

  • Thousand Year Old Campfire, or Old Morris Cave: A Continuous Use Campsite in Mammoth Cave National Park, an Excavation (Book+PDF)
    cover of Thousand Year Old Campfire, or Old Morris Cave: A Continuous Use Campsite in Mammoth Cave National Park, an Excavation
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  • A Collection of Improving Exercises (Book and/or PDF)
    Image of the book cove of
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  • Thousand Year Old Vampire (Book+PDF)
    cover view of Thousand Year Old Vampire
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    $47.50
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  • An Account of the Lengthy Existence and Numerous Experiences of Ambrose Blackhouse, Vampire, With Special Attention to Those Years in Which He Walked Upon This Earth Tho Dead, an Illustrated Novel by Tim Denee
    cover view of An Account of the Lengthy Existence and Numerous Experiences of Ambrose Blackhouse, Vampire, With Special Attention to Those Years in Which He Walked Upon This Earth Tho Dead, an Illustrated Novel by Tim Denee
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  • A Sargasso Sea of Space (a party card game)
    box view of A Sargasso Sea of Space
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  • Homage to the Player's Handbook
    cover of the Homage to the Player's Handbook
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  • Thousand Year Old Vampire (PDF only)
    logo view reading Thousand Year Old Vampire.
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  • Thousand Year Old Vampire companion volume
    image of a question mark
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    $45.00
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  • Obsidian Dice Set
    view of obsidian dice
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  • Dice The Color of Murder
    view of bloody, clotted looking dice
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  • Apollo 47 Technical Manual PDF (an RPG)
    cover image of Apollo 47 PDF
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  • Playtest Copy: A Guide to Depression-Era Soap Carving Competitions
    Logo image of A Guide to Soap Carving
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  • Operator's Manual for the Handheld Bronson Articulated De-Flensing Unit: A Game
    cover of Operator's Manual for the Handheld Bronson Articulated De-Flensing Unit: A Game
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  • Yet Another Enamel Pin: This one is a cute little puzzle
    a view of a pin made up of many letters
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  • An Enamel Pin
    photograph of tyov pin
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  • The Other Enamel Pin: The Back of the Book
    image of an enamel pin
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  • A Fantastic Desire for Adventure
    sample page spread from A Fantastic Desire for Adventure
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  • Telling My Phone About Games I'll Never Make And It Just Can't Understand, zine
    cover view of Telling My Phone About Games I'll Never Make And It Just Can't Understand
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  • Cold War Navy
    page view from Cold War Navy
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  • Our Vacation
    interior view of Our Vacation
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Shipping and VAT and wholesale orders and things

IF YOU ARE OUTSIDE THE US YOU MUST INCLUDE YOUR PHONE NUMBER IN THE SHIPPING INFORMATION FOR THE ORDER! USE YOUR EMAIL FOR THE 'CONTACT' PART OF THE ORDERING PROCESS.

You overseas folks understand how this works better than I do, but know that I'm not collecting VAT. You'll need to be responsible for that on your end.

Shipping is guaranteed in the US but I can't guarantee receipt in every country. That said, I'm not a monster–if something goes wrong I'll try to fix it. BUT: China, Russia, Mexico, Eastern Europe generally–you are ordering entirely at your own risk.

Packages go out twice a week. There can be both warehouse and mail delays due to covid and weather. If you pay for express shipping you'll probably get your package sooner than not, but I can't be held to the arrival window--that's between you and the USPS. The standard Priority Mail should arrive in 3-4 days in the US. International packages should arrive in "1-4+ weeks" and might be sent USPS First Class or through Pirate Ship's Export system.

If your tracking number starts with AHOY then you track it using this site: https://a1.asendiausa.com/tracking/.

If your shipping charge is outrageous there might be an error in the system. Email me at dearleadergame@gmail.com and let me know. Know, though, that you are probably spending 27USD to ship a single TYOV book to the EU.

Wholesale orders can be placed by emailing dearleadergame@gmail.com or through https://www.indiepressrevolution.com/xcart/Thousand-Year-Old-Vampire-Print-PDF.html.

If you need assistance with the site, have difficulty ordering, shipping seems wrong, or whatever else let me know at the address below!

This shop and these games are property of Petit Guignol LLC. Contact me at dearleadergame@gmail.com