Thousand Year Old Vampire companion volume

Thousand Year Old Vampire companion volume

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Here you may order the unnamed companion volume to Thousand Year Old Vampire. The companion volume is physical mate to the original game book–same beautiful treatment with foil, ribbons, and all the fanciness. 188 color pages on almost-museum quality paper. 


This book is not necessary to play Thousand Year Old Vampire and is, in fact, an impediment to efficiently working your way through a game session. It is not a game in any useful sense of the word. It is not a book of stories, or pretty pictures, or additional prompts.  It's not a book of character sheets, neither is it a journal.

There's not a word in the entire book. Or a drawing. Not a puzzle to be seen. 

This book, to be absolutely clear, is not useful.  It is, I believe, very worthwhile but don't forget, friends, that I am an idiot.  My worthwhile might be your bitter disappointment.  In fact, it most likely is.  

What is the companion volume? Well, I'm sticking to my guns and saying it's an experience that's best entered into without any foreknowledge. But I'll put a spoiler down below, in case you must know. 

Now I'm going to go further and say that a bunch of folks pre-ordered the companion volume when I told them, at length, not to. Some people got so, so angry about it and yelled on the internet and sent me threatening emails. Others thought the companion volume very interesting or amusing or challenging, sometimes for the wrong reason. The wildest thing, though, is that a small handful of the very angry people changed their minds about the companion volume and decided they liked it, and that, friends, is just incredible.  

But to help stave off future outrage, I'll put an explanation of what you are buying in a 'spoiler' way down below. Highlight the paragraph and it'll describe exactly what is in the book but I will not be so heavy handed as to explain the why it is what it is. I'll leave that for folks to wonder over (though you can certainly find it discussed on the internet). 

Spoiler text begins. If you are on an text-to-voice reader you might want to stop the reading!  

The companion volume is a page-for-page recreation of the original Thousand Year Old Vampire rule book. It matches the original item for items, image for image, but its...abstracted. Paragraphs of words are now blocks of color, images are reduced to primary shapes, everything is made strange. 

Just imagine what a delight that would have been to open unknowingly but, alas, you had to look at the 'spoiler text'. I understand, I would have too. I cannot bear a mystery.

Chris Bissette has a gracefully written article on the companion volume. I feel honored to have such a thoughtful thing written in response to a thing I made. Beware, there are spoilers toward the end!  

Chase Carter wrote an article for Dicebreaker. I just reread it and fear he was overkind and didn't grab the cranky social media posts and share them.  












Below is the pre-order information for this book.  I put it here as a historical novelty.



What are you pre-ordering?  It's a secret.  Or a surprise.  Surprises are good, usually.  This one possibly less so.

But I will tell you some things about the item you are buying:  

  • It is a book.  188 pages, hardback, foil and ribbons and full color. 
  • It's not a game.
  • It's not an expansion for Thousand Year Old Vampire, though the companion volume is nearly meaningless without the TYOV book. 
  • It's not a collection of writings, stories, reflections, or any other such thing. 
  • It's not a writing journal, character sheet packet, or adjunct for TYOV play. 
  • It's not a book of illustrations or puzzles or clever collages or interesting photographs.   
  • Whatever that thing you are thinking about might be, it almost certainly isn't that.

This book, to be absolutely clear, is not useful.  It is, I believe, worthwhile but don't forget, friends, that I am an idiot.  My worthwhile might be your bitter disappointment.  In fact, it most likely is.  

Know that the book is every bit as beautifully realized as the original Thousand Year Old Vampire!  It meets the same specifications in size and quality, it has the same treatments–foils and ribbons and finery galore.  It is, after all, a companion volume!  It is intended to live on a shelf next to the original and will do so very well.

But again, I am not suggesting that you order this.  In fact, I am trying to dissuade you from it.  

If you must order this book I would ask that you open the package in surroundings that that enjoin a dreamy focus and a generous spirit.  Have a copy of Thousand Year Old Vampire at hand.  You will not need dice or pen or paper because, again, this is not a game. 

Also, no PDF of this one.  It's only a physical book.


Don't like surprises?  I will lift the veil of secrecy after the pre-order books have been delivered.  You can order it then <voice drops to sinister whisper> if there are any left.  Edit:  There almost certainly will be plenty left.